General Conference Time!

Before I go into my love of the weekend of General Conference I should update you on my current life. I just celebrated 14 years of marriage and what a day. It began like most days-gotta love a good argument and it ended like most days- in love.  Kyle and I are oldest in our families and there are such great control issues going on that like the Garth Brooks song- "we fight so we can make-up" And we really like that part of it-the chemistry is so there.  Anyway, we played a tournament in Cedar City-raquetball and we got beat.  Kyle has never played in a tournament before and I don't think he expected to lose let alone feel the emotions of a loser. I don't mean that synical.  I have played in many tournaments and games and it is a raw feeling when you lose.  You play the game over and over in your head and when you don't expect it you think what could I have done differently.  But we ended it with a great night of sushi and curry.  Overall it was a great day.  We don't have a lot of money and every bit of it goes to the kids. 

Looking back on the last 14 years I am really happy with the way Kyle and I have grown together.  We have really tried to help each other to progress and he has helped me so much understand this life and his intentions have been pure in loving me and sincerely wanting the best for me.  I believe that with all of my heart.  He is a good man, he is a good provider, he is a good friend, and I love growing old with him.  He has been my rock and I really respect him for standing up to me and taking those moments to teach me.  I really like that about him.  He is very wise and very kind.

As for General Conference-I love it. I can't wait to make treats, sit with my kids and really relish in the Spirit.  I am really struggling spiritually right now.  I am really going to try to focus on the good and not look at what I am not doing-but I am struggling.  And I need to clean my act up.  I have a cursing problem and not just a little one-a big one.  I like it-I love to talk like a sailor.  I don't know why but it is a weakness of mine.  It always has been-and music is another weakness-I think I spoke of this in another post but I attended the Young Women broadcast and it dawned on me that their theme is the 13th article of faith.  It was brought back to my memory my blog post about the 13th article of faith. I can't believe I wrote that stuff and then haven't lived it.  I really believe it and I need to set a better example for my girls.  They are my little princesses and (currectly my Ella bella is listening to my phone-keisha-love is my drug). So nice.  Anyway, I really need to step it up and I can't expect it overnight.  I always set these high expectations and then I drop like a boulder into a heated volcano.  I must admit I love music-I love to dance crazy and embarrass my daughter at this point. 

But I really need to focus on believe honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and do good to all men.  OHOHOHOH!!!!Life-I wonder if I focus on to much of what I have to do instead of just doing it.  Sometimes I feel like I have just fallen so far off that it seems so impossible to get back on. That is why I am looking forward to Conference-I don't like to set goals at the New Year. I set goals at my birthday, anniversary and conference. They are my personal goals, my marital goals and my spiritual goals. And I get to do the spiritual goals weekly, bi-annually and so I am excited.  Infact I feel better and I am going to go do my laundry and get ready for the weekend.  I love you all-all those that intereact and read my blog thank you for not judging me.  I am a verbal expressionist and it helps me to vent and right my story.  Someday I would love to write my story about my journey with Willie.  It has been an incredible journey thus far and I am not a good writer and I don't know where to begin but it has been a journey-

For example-last story-I am in the primary and I get to listen in during the whole primary. We have the best music leader-she is awesome-but every now and again she will have the kids sing "I have two little hands"-for those of that don't know-my son William has one hand. That song stings me for some reason and I tried to ignore it and I was always grateful Willie wasn't there when she sang it but finally it has gotten to me. I am probably being stupid but little things like that and the R (retarded) word really hurt moms like me.  For the most part I am pretty patient and don't seek to correct anyone but there are times that it is okay to let those around you know that it hurts-I guess like swearing-I love writing things out because it just all comes full circle.  If I don't like the R word and people don't like me swearing-then I should stop.

I rambled-love you all