Communication!!! 101

Well this has been an enlightening time in my life and I don't think I would have ever gained the knowledge from college that I am gaining now if I had attended when I was 18.  There is something to be said about returning to school when you are older and slightly wiser. A few years of life's experiences certainly give a new perspective on life.  My math class is difficult and I have gotten a D on every test so far-we have had two.  But I really enjoy watching the teacher. He is a character.  His name is Mr. Bahi and he is from Morrocco and lives in Parowan. He seems to take math very seriously but I can crack a smile from him every now and again.  My communications class on Persuasion has been a real reflective class into my own personal life.  I was always told by my mom that I take everything so personally and when I was younger that was such a negative adjective told to me but I am beginning to realize it can be a very positive on too.  I have learned so much every week I have attended.  First week was on Ethics and core values and I really reflected into my own life and decided that typically I try to be very ethical in my decisions and very fair to others and with myself.  The second week was on audience. I thought about my own family as my audience even my own family I grew up in and I learned alot about how to get their attention and how to keep them engaged in what I am saying. But this week is on source and credibility and how compliments affect you and even how communication relates to self-image.  I have thought deeply about my past and have come to realize that my home was not a place of politically correct communication. It was a dictatorship. Very one sided and I feel like I am ready to move on.  One friend said that when the relaitonship is a 90 10% ratio then it can never improve. And I will spend my life from now on on relationships that I sense are meaningful and worthwhile in having.

I have started with my husband. It has been such a joy to go to class with him everyday. He surprises me everyday and despite my past and my lack of self-worth at times I really believe that he likes me. I think it was sad that I started out in a marriage with such a low self-esteem. I hope I can instill in my kids a sense of self-worth a belief that they can accomplish anything in this life and if they need help figuring out paperwork or figuring out life or even just praying with them I will do what it takes. But Kyle has been patient and has been so thoughtful in his passion and desire to keep this marriage working.  The other day I came home from school and I was just sick-my body hurt, my neck hurt, my feelings hurt (didn't realize it was a full moon), and I just ached. Normally I would not ask him for a blessing because Kyle and I have had some issues in this area but I just really had no where else to turn. And immediately he sat me in a chair and gave me the most beautiful blessing. It was the first time in a long time that I felt the Spirit of my Heavenly Father. Not because Heavenly Father isn't there for me but because I know we were both prepared to feel it and have it present.  I tried to lay down and give up for the rest of the day but the pain instantly disappeared and I was off and running getting Sandy ready for Summer games.  It was my own personal miracle and I am so thankful he and I have used communication in a rational sense to get through our life. 

But it has taken me 38 years to really get a grasp on my communication skills.  I really had none. And if I had gone to school to be a teacher like my mom told me I should do I would have really never found what I am passionate about.  I love to speak-I am good at it and I do at times captivate an audience.  I would never been happy being a teacher.  I don't like to do the same thing everyday. And when I say teacher I mean in a regular school classroom.  Because I really enjoy teaching certain things but to be a regular teacher hired in a regular classroom-that is not me. But I may enjoy college because you can have discussions and really hone in on what is going on around you in life.

I know it is not going to get easier but I am trying to apply these lessons into my everyday life.  I love being back in Cedar City. My kids love the new ward and we actually enjoy our little 2000 sq ft 4 bedroom duplex.  This was our choice and the Lord has blessed us.