Thursday, December 5, 2013

TIME PASSES ON

I can't believe it has been nearly 7 months since my last post with this Blog. So much has happened and so much has been learned. It is December again and again it is that dreadful time of year, shopping for Christmas. I think what is most dreadful about it is that everyone wants to know where you are at in your Christmas Shopping. I am supposing they are hoping to have you make them feel better by saying, "I haven't even started." Or maybe they are wanting you to ask them how their Christmas is coming just so they can pat themselves on the back and say, "Oh I've been done for months. Regardless of the reasons why people talk about Christmas, I think it's only fair to say that the reason I talk about Christmas is because it is "What is happening NOW". I mean if it is January I am going to talk about how stupid cold it is here in Cedar, February is Valentines, March is St. patty's day, April is Easter, May is end of the school year, June is "how are we going to spend our summer, July is July 4th, August is back to school. No matter the case we always find something to talk about.

But Christmas is not necessarily my favorite one to talk about. I don't want people to know what my plans are for Christmas. I don't want to be judged because I "REALLY' haven't started shopping for Christmas and I really just want to go about my month like I do every other day. And that is just TRYING my best to be who I was sent down here to be.

You see 4 years ago our family suffered a financial loss. And you can look for my posts in this blog somewhere but it was life changing family event. And Christmas and my life will never be the same. And it will never be the same for the GOOD. I have been so blessed over the last 4 years to be able to really get a true perspective as to this Holiday season and the meaning to me.  Don't get me wrong I LOVE this MONTH. I love the lights on the houses, I really do enjoy the beautiful white blanket that gets scattered all over Cedar City. (I just don't like to be cold). I love that everyone seems a little bit more friendly and a little bit more helpful. I love the TREE in my front living room. I don't have a fancy tree. My tree is decorated with the kids school pictures in ornament frames. Although I would love a Jubilee tree one day. But for now I love the simplicity this month brings to me.

I enjoy asking my friends and neighbors what their plans are for Christmas. I love that some go on cruises and some are real fancy and some are not. I love that everyone "seems" content with what they have to offer their family. I love going to the Ward Christmas party and watching everyone eat. I love, love the Christmas music.

But you see Christmas for our family is not about the gifts. I do ask my kids what they would want for Christmas and if they could have anything in the world. But ever since that day 4 years ago we have made Christmas about Gratitude. During this time of year we give thanks to have a warm roof over our head. My kids always thank Heavenly Father for the clothes on their backs and I have one daughter that always says, "Thank you for the food on our table". You see there was a period of time when we didn't know how we were going to put food on the table.

The first year we, with the help of family, I went shopping @ midnight on Christmas Eve and grabbed what ever I could. And I remember feeling so grateful but so empty. And I didn't ever want to forget what I had to learn from this trial. So the second year Kyle and I decided to buy the kids one gift, and I think we shopped two days before Christmas. You see at this point in our life you never knew when Kyle would receive a check. The third year, 2011, my kids needed clothes very badly so we did clothes & shoes. In 2012 we did EZY rollers. And man was that fun. Every kid (except Kylee) got one and they literally have ridden the wheels off those things.

Don't get me wrong we still can't help ourselves with buying a few things that remind us of the child and their unique personality but as of right now to this day....I haven't even started Christmas shopping. My kids don't get worried anymore and I am not even worried if it comes and it goes without presents under the tree.  I have been so blessed with inner peace that when one friend asked me what I was going to get for my kids, my response is often to quick and I said, "I hope the gift of inner peace." I hope I can pass on to my children what it means and what it feels like to know really how truly blessed we really are. Now don't let this fool you that I have ideas and when the time is right (timing is everything), I will go Christmas Shopping. But I really love the calmness that I feel right now. I think I love the challenge of wondering.

One lady commented to me that she hasn't started her shopping either and when I asked her why she simply didn't know or maybe she didn't want to share. When I mentioned to her my story it dawned on me that we should love this experience of waiting because I believe that when I do go, I will possibly get something that is more meaningful. I always hope to spend less but we all know that everyone's less or more is there business.

But overall I can't believe it is that time of year again. Time for Christmas Parties, gifts exchanged, and maybe more hugs given. For that I will always be grateful. I am grateful for the Birth of Jesus. I am grateful for his teachings, his life lessons, and his endless sacrifice and his example of love and peace. Everyone is deserving of Love and Peace. And I hope that you all find the love & peace that you need in your life to help you get through each and every day and to be the very best daughter or son of the Most High. It's always a work in progress. :)

Merry Christmas to you all and I wish you a very Blessed New Year..

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