HaPpY New YeAr!! 2015

I can't believe it is 2015. My mom used to tell me how quickly the time flies but WOW. This year I have decided to change. The old saying of "when you keep doing the same thing over & over again that is the definition of INSANITY". Well I don't wish to be insane. So I invite you & your friends to take a journey, an emotional, charging, spiritual, worldly, outrageous journey through this year with me.

My last post was a spiritual choice of trying to CTR (Choose the Right). But the aftermath of that post was haunting. The natural man (who is in all of us) came full circle. It wasn't until I had an epiphany of what was really going on around me. I was actually Mourning. I was mourning and No one was DEAD. I think Dead would have been easier because to think of looking the LIVING in the face was daunting & devastating. I think it makes Forgiveness & LOVE that much harder. THE LIVING is much more difficult to forgive than the dead.

And I am still going through the Grieving stages: Shock, Loss, Unbelief, despair etc. (This is my grieving-this is not discounting what anyone else may go through). This realization was an AWESOME wake up call. It was a CAll to Life.

I am Christian.
I claim to Follow to Jesus.
I desire so much to follow his example.

So why was I experiencing (after experiencing such a rush of Christianity in the last post) such a rush of anger, hatred, lack of compassion and pain. I mean isn't that WHY Jesus Died on the cross...so WE didn't have to experience such things.

I really struggled with my sister's words. "You only live the Gospel when it is convenient" Do I?

I came to the conclusion that I Am Only HUMAN. I cannot give power to the EVIL things that were said about myself & my daughter. But what I can do is recognize that everything I am going through is Okay & normal. It is my reaction to the process that counts. And oh my HELL, it is hard as Hell to think I may come face to face with this vial human and then have to have the courage to Forgive.

I will be honest. I am NOT there yet. And as long as I stay REAL with me, the blessing that was given to me will come to pass. "Everything will be taken care of in the Lord's Time."

So what about this life & Time and how quickly it goes. It is all his, The LORD's time. We are simply here to experience, learn, grow, forgive, find gratitude & so THIS New Year. I am going to make it the best year I can to TURN my Life over to GOD. It is not for anyone, not even my sister to say when I choose to live or when I don't choose to live the Gospel. Because we all have something we are choosing. And I am only human.