MY Cup Was Empty!!

I have tried for sometime now to WRITE. I have had so MANY good experiences and I've had some bad ones to learn from but I haven't had ANY that have motivated ME to WRITE. I started a few drafts on this blog but just couldn't bring myself to WRITE. And I NEED to WRITE. I need to express myself through WORDS. But TODAY it came. It has come and I'm going to share...

YOU SEE my cup was EMPTY.. you know the saying: Is the Cup half Full or half Empty? Well my CUP was so EMPTY.. Today was a good metaphor of how my life went this last 6 months..

I was boiling EGGS, so we might have some yummy, tasty, delicious Egg Salad Sandwiches.. but then I remembered we had NO Bread LOL.. But as I boiled carefully the cage-free eggs on the stove they came to a boil quickly. I proceeded with the breakfast, the opening of Christmas gifts and chit-tar chatter of my 5 ADORABLE children..But a few LONG moments went by I noticed a smell, kind of a BURNT smell.. and as I cleaned the kitchen to a minimum, I checked the stove and I heard a HUGE POP!!! Well let me tell you what happens when you let EGGS BOIL TOOOOO LONG.. The water evaporates, the eggs burn and they begin to EXPLODE. My eggs were exploding.

Oh my.. it was a great way to end my cooking skills for the YEAR!! But then this Happened. I had an Epiphany.. You see as I ramble in my writing, my Epiphany's go something like this.. I look at my exploded eggs, I think: How does this relate to my life? Am I evaporating, Am I exploding, Am I an egg burning, Have I been left to burn, to explode, to evaporate in this Mortal earth life? HAHA. But in all reality the following happened...

It's CHRISTMAS day!! And us Missionary Mama's look forward to this Moment from the Moment our sweet Missionaries leave the nest. We don't care that it's Christmas Day, We don't care about the presents our other children are getting, we just know that Christmas is as good as the day we gave birth to this child. I just wanted to see my baby-girl LIVE, I wanted to see Kylee smile in REAL time. I just wanted to SEE KYLEE.

You see... for those that know me, KNOW I live for my kids, I live for THEIR Dreams, I live to Help Make them come true. I find pure joy and FEEL a very big responsibility to HELP My children FIND their Talents. I PRAY vigorously for my CHILDREN.

But MY CUP WAS EMPTY. MY SOUL WAS GONE. MY HEART WAS STOLEN. MY WHOLE BEING wasn't ready for the EMPTINESS I would FEEL when my Baby-girl accepted the Call to Serve Our Lord Jesus Christ for 18 Months.

And THIS is ALL I had ever wanted. I DESIRE ALL my GIRLS to SERVE a Mission. I DESIRE them ALL to Spend 18 months only focused on getting to know and serve our Heavenly Father and our Brother Jesus Christ.

This Christmas Day I reflect how Our own Father in Heaven must of Felt as our Brother, Redeemer of the World, our Saviour, HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN Son left his Eternal Realm, left his Presence to come and Ful-fill what only HE could Ful-Fill.. Heavenly Father must of been excited, must of been grateful and yet so proud. But then I wonder if He felt Sad, or a little alone.

And as this day came to an END and as I was able to SEE, and HEAR my Sweet Missionary bear Testimony of the Power of the Book of Mormon, As I was able to SEE & HEAR Kylee testify of the strength the Mission has given her and How it has changed her life for the GOOD and FOREVER, my CUP began to FILL up. My cup began to feel warm & sweet. My cup wasn't bitter anymore.

I am so blessed. I am so grateful for the trials, the personal lessons that I have everyday. I am so privileged to have the children I have because each and every one of them have taught me something new about Heaven.

There is a whole in my HEART that will be made whole each month that passes as Kylee is gone. Kylee is on the Lord's Time. I'm so grateful she recognizes the role she plays in this vast life we call Earth-Life. It is but for a moment that we will pass through some trials but the reactions can have an eternal benefit or consequence.

I hope that when you feel like your cup is Empty, that you won't boil eggs and let them explode or evaporate. THINK QUICKLY.. and remember it is only a trial. "THIS TO SHALL PASS". And Remember: You is Smart, You is Kind & You are HIS.

Merry Christmas
Peace & Blessings
xoxo