My journey isn't your journey.
Your journey isn't MY journey...
But Our personal Journey can be shared... learned... inspired...
I have been on a quest with ME! I have wanted so desperately to be consistent in my blog only to be sideswiped by the fiery darts that haunt me...
I have wanted so desperately to share and inspire and tell you that YOU CAN DO IT!!
When your moving for the 3rd time and struggling with packing up from a life of love and a place of peace... I want to be that woman that says... YOU Got this... I've moved 28 times and 12 in the same city... I have wanted to be that support... who has a story, not to compare with your story, but to share the pain and tell you at the END... It ALL works out...
But... here comes the BUT!!
I have been broken... I have been telling myself so many lies... I have had a story about myself, deep inside myself that doesn't match with the writer in ME... It NEVER went Hand in Hand... or side by side...
I know a few things about myself...
I know I am strong...
I know that something DEEP inside me is fighting to get out... like a Warrior who waits in the back of a battle... waiting for her turn to take on the End Game...
I know I have a GIFT...
But what... "What Lack I Yet?"
Just when I would start to take off... My husband and I would argue... and all of a sudden I was the "Mouthy one". "I was Rude" " I was to strong"
Again... when I would start to feel the take off, like a jet on a runaway and everyone tells you to buckle up and you feel the surge put you back in your seat so that the WINGS could fly... I'd hear... "Why do you think it's YOU?" "What makes YOU special" What makes YOU different" Why do you Think you could Motivate or encourage or be there for anyone"
Have you ever had that MOMENT!!! It is NOT... let me be clear... It is NOT a MOMENT of TRUTH...
They are SMALL moments of Little LIES!! White lies... FIBS (as my mom would call it)
I have a PLAN... I have been BOLD about telling many women to have a PLAN... My plan is going to change the way I see life... the way I see society... I have a plan to help WOMEN and mostly YOUNG WOMEN... to OPEN up... to FIND their Gift... to THINK in a MORE Eternal Way...
But I realized
I SURRENDER!!! I have been reading with such desperation the BOOK of Alma in the BOOK of MORMON... more specifically the wars at the END of the book...
I am a Warrior. I am one of God's chosen daughters who came to earth willingly to help gather his other daughters and share with them this power.
How do I fix ME!!!
I trust God when I meet other STRONG Women... And their are so many of you... Strength isn't found in the physical appearance... but God literally leads me to WOMEN who I need...I have been in 10 Church Wards and in every ward I have met hundreds of Women... but I collect that Few that I connect with.. I was born to a strong MOTHER... and in my years I have been under the tutelage of MANY and I mean MANY strong Women...
To name a Few:
Amber... she has taught me unconditional love & service
Linda... she taught me to laugh and keep life simple and kind
Myrna... she taught me I could be beautiful
Lisa... Christlike... there is no one more Genuine in this world then her... her selfless love and compassion for others is something WE all could be more like...
Ranita... she has taught me to be brave in the business world... to go after everything I could dream of
Julie... my best friend... she has taught me to love ice cream at 2 am and that it's okay to be REAL
April... for seeing me the way I have always tried to see other women... for being BRAVE enough to Mentor a soul like mine... and Help me develop into the QUEEN I know God needs me to be...
It is important to know that I look to so many of YOU... So many of YOU have taught me...
My GIRLS continually teach me... they truly inspire me to be a BETTER Version of Myself...
But I have surrendered... I am succumbing and I am allowing the Saviour to WORK miracles in my heart and in my spirit that I KNEW was POSSIBLE but didn't have the TOOLS... and it's not as easy as READ more scriptures... SAY your Prayers... NO NO NO.... Don't be fooled...
WE need to find those SEASON Queens here on Earth who are taking on the BATTLE of this earthly WORLD to bring the WOMEN of this Earthly World together... SO that WE may prepared to PROTECT our Families... to LOVE our HUSBANDS more DEEPLY... to NURTURE our children the way GOD would want them nurtured...
WE need each other... and GOD has placed a HAND full of Women in my life that I can TRUST... that can UNDERSTAND ME... and I may NOT be the one for you... BUT there is SOMEONE for YOU!! Because YOU are HIS...
My take away yesterday as I sat being mentored by the Holy Ghost is I AM NOT ALONE!!!
Ladies Let me be CLEAR... It's cliche to say... I am not ALONE!! It's cliche to say... JESUS is with YOU... It's redundant words... We have all heard them... We have all THOUGHT we believed them... But DO WE LIVE THEM...
I listened to the song... YOU are NOT ALONE by Michael McLain so many times in my life that I truly thought I would wake up one morning and have those words tattooed on my Forehead as a daily reminder I am NOT... But I was...
I was ALONE at Family Gatherings when I knew my in-laws hated me...
I was ALONE at Family Gatherings when I knew I had wronged a sibling and no matter how hard I tried to fix it or change or be different they couldn't except the NEWER and better version of ME...
I was ALONE at business functions because I always felt like I was JUST the MOM or JUST the Wife...
I was ALONE when I didn't get invited to Prom or any dance in high school for that matter.
I was ALONE in school when all my "SMART friends" were in regular reading groups and I was in the lowest reading group and I was the ONLY WHITE GIRL...
But YESTERDAY!!! I BELIEVED!! I BELIEVE... I ATTEST and TESTIFY... I am NOT ALONE!! I am aligning myself more desperately... more consciously of my relationship with my Saviour...
I visualized looking him in the EYES and as I sobbed KNOWING... HE KNOWS!! HE KNOWS that FEELING... and as I visualized and breathed... and as I "cleansed my inner vessel" I felt it... I now KNOW I am NOT ALONE!!!
I will Always be on my knees praying... I will always look to HIM... the very Brother Who has saved us ALL...
It's TIME!!! MY TIME is NOW... to Rise to the Queen I was created to be... I have found the TOOLS... I am aligning myself with the right women and the opportunities to THINK... GROW... and SERVE... will Manifest themselves in my daily efforts to Better myself and others...
May God Bless you ALL!! May you Maximize You Everyday... May you find YOUR Tribe... and when you do... Gird your loins... Find the Armor that Fits you and the Tools to Conquer Your self and to BRING the GOOD to YOU and Your families.
#maximizeyoueveryday
#peaceandblessings
#soundsofsadie
#williesmom
#Iammykidsmom
#HeismyKing
Love
Mama Sadie
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