BEEN TRYING xo

 I have genuinely been trying to keep up on the blog and journal the things I have been learning... THIS blog is public and although so much happens PRIVATELY... I still believe there is a WAY to communicate information in a way withOUT "Calling OUT" or even bein fake.

I have LEARNED so MANY lessons in MY life... I write this ONE and dedicate this POST to my MOM... I have a GREAT MOM... My mom is Exactly what and who I needed in MY life... 

DID I always feel that way... NO... No one does... I think WE all go through phases of LIFE and WE all TRY to discern, decipher, dig, and find out WHO we are... BUT being in a FAMILY is such a funny thing... GOD really put us with "random" people to be "randomly" observed, taught, picked on, served, taunted, teased, built up, etc... ONLY to realize 50 YEARS later WHAT that all meant...

LET me explain... 

In your 20's YOU think YOU know everything... You ask your mom for advice, but she's wrong... YOU only ask because she holds the title to MOM and YOU think that's the right thing to do... YOU also think YOU don't need help so you don't ask for help. YOU stop talking to your mom because "What does she know... nothing... BUT because she's your MOM you try to keep her in the loop although you really don't want her in the loop and you really don't know what the boundary is to have with your mom... YOU are trying to figure it out.. YOUR mom has already been there so she gives you space, takes your shit, opens her cupboards, doors and her heart to whatever it is you need. YOU are right and she is wrong... and that is okay... WHY... BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU...

In your 30's, maybe your married with a few kids of your own... life is hard... balancing juggling, and you still call MOM... MOM means something a little more... Questions are asked... your now curious how did MOM do it... I mean she worked 2 jobs, coached your softball/baseball teams, drove you to tap, volleyball, made dinner, stayed up late to talk trash about the game that just happened because you made an awesome catch at home plate, even though she made you play when you had the chicken pox... and still had to be a WIFE and keep her sanity...  MOM kept it going. 

In your 40's... MOM is getting older, has a few health issues, still runs her mouth so you know she's okay. YOU start to see her grey hair, and you start to see her and your dad really be a married couple that you never saw before because YOU were the kid... You ask MOM, was I like this, man MOM I am sorry I gave you so much trouble.. MOM answers, you were never trouble... YOU were figuring it out like me... Mom assures you that YOU are living life... MOM reminds you to stay close to GOD and his son Jesus Christ... MOM is MOM... 

NOW the YEAR YOU turn 50... MOM is now 77... YOUR own kids going through their hard times... there 20's and YOU realize... MAN MOM... THANK YOU... THANK you for working so hard... THANK you for not giving up on dad when I wanted you too.. THANK you for never listening to me when I made NO sense and THANK YOU for loving ME for ME..and MOM how did you do it... How did you survive the Broken hearts, the hard times.. MOM just replies... YOU just do...

There is never a question in my mind that life CAN be that simple... Mom's JUST DO... So to all the mom's out there wondering how to survive the GOOD the BAD and the UGLY... YOU just do... 

I would recommend eliminating the social media... the victim posts that try to relate to feelings... JUST know that as long as that DOOR stays open, the HEART stays whole... YOU will get through the 20's, the 30's, the 40's and when YOU turn 50 and you have that moment of truth of who you have worked so hard to become... YOU and YOU are enough...

Disclaimer: this is my take on it.. i have come to love and respect the role of motherhood and i love my mom... and more then that i like my mom... i have always liked her but i am the oldest and those come with their own set of lessons and rules... but i hold no hard feelings to my parents... i learned a long time ago that like me, my mom was someone's kid and my mom and dad were always trying to give us a better life... any good parent does that.. i know i am blesssed to have the mom and even dad i had... it doesn't mean i agree with everything and it doesn't mean i don't struggle sometimes with the past  but there is a level of respect...and I choose to dwell on things that will move me in a forward pace. I choose to look through the windshield and not the rearview mirror. 

and it is because she is my mom.

ILY MOM...

#maximizeyoueveryday

#peaceandblessings

#ohanaracing

#momboss

#failingforward